Building Healthy Relationships: What Time, Energy and Cost Do you Put into Your Relationships?
Most people live in relation to others throughout their lives. I have come to believe the greatest barrier to good relations is how well we know and Love ourselves, unconditionally. In this blog I explore: Where does this journey place in your life’s priorities?
A bit about me and why I have come to study relationships. I have been preoccupied with relationships for over 60 years (yes I am old). My choice of putting an inordinate amount of time, energy and cost into the study of relationships has been the strength and gift of anxiety I have inherited from my parents as well as many other qualities all having their own beneficial and challenging contributions to me.
One of my insights on relationships is that many of us robotically repeat what we have been modeled. For example, my parents immigrated from a war-torn country when they were in their early twenties. They were not aware of conditions such as Post Traumatic Stress Disorder and had no family or supports in this new country to help with their marital issues. I would venture to say that most of what I learned about relationships from my parent’s model has been a great source of learning the hard way.
My Church taught me diligently how to be in a relationship with a God who, while loving and having a personal connection with me, could be vengeful, spiteful, and unforgiving unless I fully surrendered to His control. Hmmm. The Church’s teachings on loving others were questionable in its substance since we were all going to heaven and those from other faiths (Christian or not) were going to hell. I would venture to judge that thinking as a bit divisive.
All to say that my observation in my young adulthood that I didn’t know much at all about how to have the relationships that I desired was true. This realization inspired me to make it my life ambition to learn what constitutes a healthy relationship, what supports us to be in one, and what stops us from achieving the qualities our heart desires. I am confident that what I learned is life-changing and worth the trip.
Through my life and work with thousands of people I have come to believe every type of relationship we have is essentially a journey into knowing more about who we are. In the webinars and workshops I am offering, the goal is to deepen your understanding of who you are in relation to yourself and others. The first series “We Are All Connected“ explores the labels that divide and/or connect us. More about that can be found in About section of the website.
Fortunately, for us all, I am not the only resource in this field of relationship health. There are many disciplines that have formulated new knowledge and practices that are shared through open sources such as “Dr. Google”. It is still a slog to sort through what I would describe as the consumer model of self-help; short, fast, and cheap. In working with you my intent is to bring your attention to some of the resources I have found that promote compassionate, empowered relations.
In conclusion, I believe everyone has relationships but only a few of us have a model of a healthy relationship that is supported by experienced mentors. A long-standing, “makes me happy” relationship depends on self-awareness, emotional maturity, a compassionate perspective, and the ability to adjust over time. It is not an easy path or a one time event. It takes time and energy throughout your life and impacts more of humanity than you might be aware. Caring and maintenance of your relations should be a priority in comparison to food and other necessities. When you look around at the people you love and influence you, would you agree your relations deserve the time and money you would put into a good boot (Northern Canada standard) or a vacation?
I hope you will take the time to see your relations through loving kindness. If I can be one of your resources I will honour that privilege. This website invites you to join me in sharing our learning. If you grace me by attending my workshops I will lead you through processes of self-awareness, personal growth, and healing. If not you will find your way anyway. Be well and enjoy the Journey.